Most people would call me thin.
I’m 6’3” and around 170lbs most of the time. When I was 18 years old I was 210lbs and then had a massive anxiety-induced freak-out a few years later where I didn’t eat much except crackers for a couple of of months and dropped down to 160lbs.
So since that time, I’ve been pretty thin. And a lot of things lately have been reminding me that I’m not taking very good care of myself and the biggest component of this is that I recently had a birthday and have been feeling really anxious about my health and I’m very self-conscious about certain parts of my body and they’re things that can be changed.
I’ve been following Joi’s progress and he’s been making some rather nice changes for himself. So. Change them I shall! Bring it!
Liz keeps a lot of exercise gear around the house. She does all sorts of stuff that I don’t understand much that involve steps and sweating and wearing cute clothes.
However, I’ve started using her free weights and working on my arms and chest and then doing crunches and twists and adding some muscle in those two areas. My first day of doing this routine I did about thirty crunches before I felt like I was going to split like a pea-pod.
I did 2 pushups.
Once your mocking laughter subsides, I’ll continue.
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Yeah, thanks for that.
So anyway, my capacity for all of my pushups and weights and crunches has been rapidly escalating. And for the first week I was like “ugh, I need to do that,” and now I kind of look forward to it, and will occasionally even grab some floor space while I’m watching TV or when I need to take a break from my laptop or my desk, and I’ve done crunches on the floor in my office @work, too, and my capacity for crunches has been increasing rapidly. I don’t know what the ceiling will be, but I’ve gone from doing 30 in a sitting to over 270, in the span of three weeks.
And really, seriously, I kind of like doing it. I’m trying to start walking more during the day, and I’m contemplating walking to work or bicycling more, and sometimes I get away from my desk when I’m in the office and just do brisk walks around the parking lot.
So I’m feeling a little inspired and happy for the progress I’ve made so far. My stomach appears to be getting some nice definition and my arms and chest are shaping up as well. I’m not saying I’ll be running for Governor of California or anything, but I just want to tone up a bit and feel better about myself and be more comfortable in my own skin. I’ve never been especially fond of myself in that way, and I don’t think I’ve ever looked at myself in the mirror and thought, “Emory, you look pretty awesome today,” or have been all that pleased with my physical condition. Which has had a measurable impact on my emotional and mental state as well, I’d imagine.
And so far this has had a pretty good impact on my emotional and mental health as well. Because it has real measurable progress, and because I feel good doing it, and I feel great when I do it better than I did last time, and because I look forward to doing it because of how it makes me feel? All the more encouraging.
I’ve also been dialing back on my smoking and trying to break my habits of doing so at certain locations or times, but that one has been harder than it sounds because I’m all stressed out about a lot of things lately and it is really a deadly form of self-medication, I’m aware of that. But that is a hard thing to break, really. I’m constantly thinking about my smoking habits though and how I can continue to make it more difficult for me to do so.
I think ultimately that what will happen is that I’ll hit a peak in my exercise routine where I can’t go any further because I’m short of breath, or just not feeling up to it, and this will be the indicator that I need to cease my smoking, and that I will actually see my smoking habit as a limitation to my health and happiness. Right now I smoke when I’m stressed, or depressed, or just need to walk away from my desk.
I have broken the biggest “location cravings” by not smoking at my desk, or in the living room, or even in the house unless it is in the pantry, which is the most inconvenient place to do it.
So yeah, I want to look better, but what I really want is to feel better. And so if you are thinking about trying to take better care of yourself physically or mentally, I highly recommend you start getting some exercise. It doesn’t have to be much. I’m just doing really basic exercises and it is making a difference. The biggest changes that it makes for me are in my head, and that makes it all the more worthwhile.